Do you realize that your existence is so enormously improbable that you shouldn’t have been reading this blog in the first place.
You get up each day, go to work, crib, harp, fart, sneeze, drool, love, hate, mate and then sleep at the end of the day. Do you realize that the numbers of probability are so stacked up against you that it's a miracle that you are able to do any of these things.
I will try to put forth an improbable explanation that will explain your impossible existence !!.
Every astro-scientist agrees that there are more number of stars in the universe than the number of grains of sand on our planet. You can try to think of this enormous, immense, improbable number if your brain permits you to (the fact that you have a brain and can think with it is another impossible event).For all practical purposes, this number is treated as infinity. 'Infinity' is a term invented by mathematicians who got so overwhelmed when they discovered how implausible their existence was, that they had to come up with a new number to explain the enormity of the shock they had with this realization. These countless stars have countless more planets circling around them. From these innumerable planets, a single planet underwent violent changes over billions of years and finally moulded itself so that it could support life.
Now let's pause for a moment and calculate the probability of the existence of the planet earth. Some wise-cracking human being decided that the correct equation to compute the probability in an equi-probable sample space is -
Probability = (Number of desired events)/(number of total events in the sample space) - [1]
Going by this equation, the probability of the existence of earth is : 1/infinity = zero.
So the probability of the existence of planet earth is zero .. nil .. zilch. This argument alone is enough to prove that you shouldn’t have existed but let us move ahead and examine other paths that have led to your presence and then you will be able to appreciate the true improbability of your existence.
Next, we will examine the probability that you had to be a human being.
You could have been a lifeless rock, you could have been a tree, you could have been a single celled organism, you could have been a slimy slithering creature at the ocean's bottom, you could have been a bird, you could have been this, you could have been that .. you could have been bi-sexual !!. Amongst such vast numbers of permutations and combinations of the many things you could have been, you ended up as a human. The probability of this event (using equation [1]) is again .. zero .. nil .. zilch.
Assuming that you now exist and somehow crawled past the last two improbable events (if 'you' are actually assuming this, i have proved my point and you can now relieve yourself of this torturous reading), we will move to the next improbable event.
You were born because of a lengthy history of copulation amongst your ancestors starting from your parents back to the first human couple. If you are a man, and have ever tried to woo the woman of your dreams, you would understand how infinitely unlikely your chances of succeeding are. If you are a woman, you consider all men impossible, hence no explanation needed here. So, it has been a history of impossible pairings all along the chain that has led finally to your birth. If we translate these arguments to a number, the probability that you were born because of the exact pairings of all your ancestors is .. again .. (everyone in chorus, put in some excitement into your voices) .. ZERO .. NIL .. ZILCH !!
So .. there it is, it has now been conclusively proven that your existence is the most impossible, improbable, implausible event to have ever taken place in the history of the universe and you should henceforth regard yourself as a freak co-incidence of nature.
As for me .. I am impossible.
